NFL Week 4 Preview

I went a respectable 8-8 in last week's predictions... better than I anticipated. On to Week 4, this is the start of the bye weeks, so not as many games on the schedule.

New York Jets v. Buffalo Bills
QB: Mark Sanchez v. Ryan Fitzpatrick Point: Jets
Color: Green and White v. Red White and Blue; It seems unamerican to go against red, white and blue, yet forest green is a favorite. Point: Jets
Mascot: Jets v. Bills (Buffalos?) Still so confused by mascot/team name choices. Point: Jets? I guess.
Winner: Jets

Baltamore Ravens v. Pittsburgh Steelers
QB: Joe Flacco (and his unibrow) v. Charlie Batch; I'd just like to say kudos to Charlie Batch for being awesome and coming back from being on the verge of being cut, taking advantage of injuries to Dennis Dixon and Byron Leftwich. And forget about Ben Roethlisberger when he comes back from suspension! Stick with Charlie, Pitsburgh! Point: Steelers
Color: purple, black, white v. black and gold (but really its yellow) You look like bumblebees... not cool. Point: Ravens
Mascot: Raven v. Steeler. Point: Raven
Winner: Ravens

Denver Broncos v. Tennessee Titans
QB: Kyle Orton v. Vince Young; Fall is here, and hopefully that means the return of Kyle Orton's neckbeard! Point: Broncos
Color: Orange and Blue v. Blue (dark and light) and Red and White Point: Broncos
Mascot: Bronco v. Titan; Point: Titans
Winner: Broncos

Detroit Lions v. Green Bay Packers
QB: Shaun Hill v. Aaron Rodgers: Last week we saw that Shaun Hill likes puppies. I have no idea if A. Rodge likes puppies, but he loves the movie "The Princess Bride" Point: Packers
Color: Honolulu Blue and Silver v. Green and Gold (yellow) The Packers' colors really give me bad flashbacks to grade school athletics. Point: Lions
Mascot: Lion v. Packer (meat packer, gross occupation) Point: Lions
Winner: Lions

San Francisco 49ers v. Atlanta Falcons
QB: Alex Smith (and his pretty eyes) v. Matt Ryan This might be the most attractive Quarterback matchup this week. Slight edge goes to Alex Smith for having very pretty eyes. Point: 49ers
Color: Red and Gold (actually gold) v. Red, Black and White; Point: Falcons
Mascot: 49er v. falcon; I'm sure the 49ers were pretty badass back in the day, however, I just think of an old timey prospector character. No match for the majestic bird of prey that the falcon is. Point: Falcons
Winner: Falcons

Carolina Panthers v. New Orleans Saints
QB: Jimmy Claussen v. Drew Brees; Drew Brees was on 60 minutes last week, and I love how beloved he is in New Orleans, and I love his "no body believed in me" story. Point: Saints
Color: Teal, black and silver v. Black and Gold Point Panthers
Mascot: Panther v. Saint; Don't mess with The Lord. Point: Saints

Seattle Seahawks v. St Louis Rams
QB: Matty Hasselbeck v. Sammy Bradford Point: Rams
Color: official seahawks colors are "seahawks blue" "seahawks navy" and neon green v. navy blue and gold Point: Seahawks
Mascot: Seahawk v. Rams; Point: Rams- seahawks don't exist.
Winner: Rams

Indianapolis Colts v. Jacksonville Jaguars
QB: Peyton Manning v. David Gararrd; Is it just me or has there been significantly fewer Peyton Manning commercials this season? Point: Jaguars
Color: Blue and White v. Black, Turquoise, Gold; Point: Colts
Mascot: Colt v. Jaguars Point Jaguars
Winner: Jaguars

Washington Redskins v. Philadelphia Eagles
QB: Donovan McNabb v. Michael Vick; I'm still not on the Michael Vick Train of Love; Point: Redskins
Color: Maroon and Gold v. Green and White; The Redskins' colors remind me of Fall. Fall is my favorite season; Point: Redskins
Mascot: Redskin v. Eagle; Point: Redskins
Winner: Redskins

Arizona Cardinals v. San Diego Chargers
QB: Derek Anderson v. Philip Rivers; Point: Cardinals
Colors: Red Black White v. Blue and yellow; Point: Chargers
Mascot: Cardinal v. the electricity of the Charger; Point: Chargers
Winner: Chargers

Chicago Bears v. New York Giants
QB: Jay Cutler v. Eli Manning; Mr. Grumpy Face v. Manning face. Elisha strikes me as being a nicer guy, and the Manning face entertains me. If you don't know what I mean by "Manning face" watch the game and watch when things don't go Eli's way. Point: Giants
Color: Blue and Orange v. Red White Blue; Point: Bears
Mascot: Bear v. Giant Point: Giants
Winner: Giants

New England Patriots v. Miami Dolphins
QB:Tom Brady v. Chad Henne; Is this even a contest? Point: Patriots (Bieber hair that Tom's wife won't let him cut, and all)
Color: red white blue and silver v. 80's explosion teal and orange Point: Patriots
Mascot: Patriot Revolutionary War Soldier v. Dolphin; Point: Patriots

NFL Week 3 Preview

So I totally missed week two of the NFL season, my family was in town and I was much too busy having an awesome time with them. Week 1 I went a miserable 4-12 on the Heuer Threefold Picks Method, so we'll see how Week 3 shakes out.

Tennessee Titans v. New York Giants
Quarterback: Vince Young v. Eli Manning- For my birthday, my sister gave me a children's book written by Eli, Peyton, and Archie Manning entitled "Family Huddle." The plot: not so good; however it warms my heart that Elisha wrote a book, kind of.  Point: Giants
Color: Point Titans because they have a pretty light blue.
Mascot: Titans (mythical godlike creatures) v. Giants. Point: Titans
Winner: Titans

Cincinnati Bengals v. Carolina Panthers
QB: Carson Palmer v. Jimmy Claussen. Neither are overly attractive, both are kind of boring, Claussen is a rookie, so you kinda have to pull for him to do well, so I guess Point: Panthers
Color: Orange and Black v. Turquoise and black and silver. The 80s are in... The bengals colors are conducive to Zubaz pants, but the Panthers colors are super 80's. Point: Panthers
Mascot: Tiger v. Panther which cat reigns supreme. I say Tiger... Point Bengals
Winner: Bengals

Dallas Cowboys v. Houston Texans
QB: Tony Romo v. Matt Schaub Point: Cowboys
Color: Silver, blue and white v. red white and navy blue. Point: Texans
Mascot: Cowboys v. Texans: Ok, so some people from Texas are cowboys, but not all Cowboys are Texans. Cowboys are just really cool, so Point: Cowboys
Winner: Cowboys

San Francisco 49ers v. Kansas City Chiefs
QB: Alex Smith (and his pretty eyes) v. Matt Cassel I have a soft spot in my heart for Matt Cassel as a former Patriot, but Alex Smith's eyes are mezmorizing. Point: 49ers
Color Red and Gold v. Red and White and Yellow/Gold. Point 49ers
Mascot: 49er (old timey prospector) v. Chief. Point: Chiefs
Winner; 49ers

Pittsburgh Steelers v. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
QB: Charlie Batch v. Josh Freeman Point: Buccaneers
Color: Both have unattractive uniforms... Point Steelers
Mascot: Steeler (Steel worker) v. Buccaneer (Pirate) Point: Buccaneers
Winner: Buccaneers

Buffalo Bills v. New England Patriots
QB: Ryan Fitzpatrick v. Tom Brady Fun fact: Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard... not a school that I would necessarily want my quarterback to be from. Doctor? yes. Quarterback? not so much. Tom Brady is much more attractive. Point: Patriots
Color: Point: Patriots
Mascot: I have no idea what a Bill is, its supposed to be a Buffalo v. a Patriot. Point: Patriots
Winner: Patriots

Clevleland Browns v. Baltamore Ravens
Seneca Wallace v. Joe Flacco Seneca is a silly name for a professional quarterback. Joe Flacco is a much better name for a quarterback, however, Mr. Flacco loses serious points for his unibrow. Point; Browns
Color: Point: Ravens
Mascot: Browns v. Ravens. The Brown isn't a mascot... Point: Ravens
Winner: Ravens

Detroit Lions v. Minnesota Vikings

QB: Shaun Hill v. Brett Favre Point: Lions because of the following picture of Shaun Hill

Shaun hill likes puppies! That's good enough for me!

Color: Point Lions because Honolulu Blue is Awesome

Mascot: Lion v. Viking. I really think a Lion would win that fight ultimately. Point Lions

Winner: Lions

Atlanta Falcons v. New Orleans Saints
QB: Matt Ryan v. Drew Brees Point: Falcons
Color: Red, black, white v. Gold and Black Point Falcons (I default to my Mayer Lutheran High days of favoring Red, Black, and White)
Mascot: Falcon v. Saint Cant mess with the team that has God on their side... Point: Saints
Winner: Falcons

Washington Redskins v. St. Lousi Rams
QB: Donovan McNabb v. Sam Bradford... Did you know Sammy Bradford loves Jesus? He's just more understated about it than Tim Tebow Point: Rams
Color: Maroon and God v. Navy blue and Gold Point: Redskins
Mascot: Redskin (Native American) v. Ram Point: Redskins
Winner: Redskins

Philadelphia Eagles v. Jacksonville Jaguars
QB: Michael Vick v. David Gararrd... Unlike Shaun Hill, Michael Vick doesn't like puppies.... Point: Jaguars
Color Green and White v. Ugly Point: Eagles
Mascot: Eagle (Majestic, flying, bird) v. Jaguar (large predatory cat) Point: Jaguars
Winner: Jaguars

Indiana Colts v. Denver Broncos
QB: Peyton Manning v. Kyle Orton Shmorton (that's what I call Kyle Orton) Again, I have to give Peytie Pie props for attempting to write a children's book. Point: Colts
Color Blue and White v. Orange and Blue Point: Broncos
Mascot: Colt v. Broncos Very similar... both are horses. Broncos just sound cooler, though. Point; Broncos
Winner: Broncos

Oakland Raiders v. Arizona Cardinals
QB:Bruce Gradkowski v. Derek Anderson This is a hard choice, but Point: Raiders
Color: Black and Silver v. Red, Black, White. I really like the Black and Silver Point: Raiders
Mascot: Raiders (pirate) v. Cardinal I'm afraid of birds, but not that afraid. Point: Raiders
Winner: Raiders

San Diego Chargers v. Seattle Seahawks
QB: Philip Rivers v. Matt Hasselbeck. I really find Hasselbeck to be more likeable than Rivers. Point: Seahawks
Color: These are probably my two favorite teams as far as color/look of uniforms, so this is a tough choice, but I will go Point: Chargers
Mascot: Chargers (electricity) v. Seahawk (made up bird) Point: Chargers
Winner: Chargers

New York Jets v. Miami Dolphins
QB: Mark Sanchez v. Chad Henne Point: Jets
Color: Green and White v. Turquise, orange, white 80s explosion! Point: Jets
Mascot: Jet v. Dolphins. Jets are definitely more scary... Point: Jets
Winner: Jets

Green Bay Packers v. Chicago Bears: On a side note, this is the only game I'm actually excited about watching this week from a football standpoint. The Packers are an incredible offensive team, and the Bears have been surprisingly good (yes, I realize they have only played 2 games, the season is early, but I'm hopeful)

QB: Aaron Rodgers v. Jay "Mr. Grumpy Face" Cutler Point: Packers Aaron Rodgers is adorable; he loves the Princess Bride and playing guitar on the beach. Jay Cutler dates a girl from The Hills.

Color: Green and Gold v. Orange and Blue Point: Bears

Mascot: Meatpacker v. Bear. I choose Bear

Winner: Bears

Hopefully I will do better than 4-12. However, my knowledge of football, the teams, and some of my picks, that is really doubtful.

Its the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

No, not Christmas! I'm talking about the magical time where baseball and football seasons overlap. Happy, happy days: The pennant races in baseball are in full force (ok, so we know who will probably make the playoffs, but I'm still excited!) and football starts tonight!
In honor of the fooball season, I'm going to share with you my week one predictions based on my "Heuer Threefold Picks" method. If you are unfamiliar with the "Heuer Threefold Picks Method" it is a very girly method of choosing a team you prefer based on three completely subjective critera: Quarterback Attractiveness, Team Colors, and Team Name/Mascot. A team must have 2 out of 3 to be your pick.
QB Attractiveness: factors in hottness and likeability of the starting quarterback.
Team Colors: Look at the jerseys and determine what color combintations are the best.
Team Name/ Masot: Generally I go with the team name rather than the mascot because the Titans' mascot is like a racoon or something like that. I decide what is more intimidating.
Ok, now for the predictions...
Minnesota Vikings v. New Orleans Saints
QB- Brett Favre v. Drew Brees, Brett Favre is probably better looking, but he's kind of a drama queen making him less likeable. Who can forget Drew Brees with his adorable small child after the Super Bowl last year... so cute. Less physcially attractive, but definitely more likeable. I'll go Brees; point New Orleans
Color: purple, gold, and white v. black and gold. I don't like gold as a dominent color, so point Vikings
Mascot: Viking v. Saint. Vikings are Burly Norse warriors, but  saints have God on their side. You can't mess with that. Point Saints.
Prediction: Saints win

Carolina Panthers v. New York Giants
QB: Matt Moore v. Eli Manning. I had to look up who Matt Moore is, he's kinda cute. Eli has a serious case of Manning face when he screws up. Point Carolina
Color: Turquiosey Blue, Black, and Silver v. Blue, Red, Gray, white. I kind of like the turquoisey blue of the Panthers. Point Panthers
Mascot: Irrelevent becaus Panthers have 2 points, but I'd go Giants because a giant could just step on and squash a panther.
Prediction: Panthers

Atlanta Falcons v. Pittsburgh Steelers
QB: Matt Ryan v. Dennis Dixon. Matt Ryan is adorable, point Falcons
Color: Red, black, silver, white v. Yellow and Black plus those three colored diamonds in their logo. Point: Falcons
Mascot: Falcon v. Steeler (steel mill worker) a falcon can just fly away. Point: Falcons
Prediction: Falcons

Cleveland Browns v. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
QB: Jake Delhomme v. Josh Freeman. I'm gonna go with Freeman Point Tampa Bay
Color: Push, both teams have ridiculously ugly color schemes
Mascot: Browns (what is that?) ps. they have dogs as their mascots. v. Buccaneers (essentially pirates) Point Tampa Bay
Prediction: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Denver Broncos v. Jacksonville Jaguars
QB: Kyle Orton v. David Garrard; I love Kyle Orton's neckbeard. Point Broncos
Color: Orange, navy blue v. teal, gold, and black. Point Broncos
Mascot: Bronco (wild horse) v. Jaguar (wild cat) fairly sure a Jaguar would win in that fight. Point Jaguars
Prediction: Denver Broncos

Indianapolis Colts v. Houston Texans
QB: Peyton Manning v. Matt Schaub Point Colts. Manning isn't necessarily attractive, however generally his commercials make me laugh.
Color: Blue, Silver, White, v Red, White, Navy Blue Point: Colts
Mascot: Colt (baby horse) v. Texan (person from Texas) Gonna go point Texans
Prediction: Colts

Miami Dolphins v. Buffalo Bills
QB: Chad Henne v. Trent Edwards; Point Buffalo Bills
Color: turquise and orange v. Red and blue. Point Buffalo
Mascot:Dolphin v. Bills (technically a Buffalo) neither are particularly fierce unless we are talking about Zipper, Flipper the dolphin's evil brother, or a buffalo stampede. I guess there's more threat with a buffalo. Point, Bills
Prediction: Buffalo Bills

Detroit Lions v. Chicago Bears
QB: Matthew Stafford v. Jay Cutler. Matthew Stafford at least appears to be having fun when he plays football. Jay Cutler is consistently Mr. Grumpy Face. In fact, that's what I call him. Mr. Grumpy Face. And I've heard stories that he's not a very nice guy. Point: Lions
Color Honolulu Blue and Silver v. Blue and Orange. Point Bears
Mascot a lion v. a bear... who would win. I think the lion would do it based on being more agile and quick. Point Lions
Prediction: Lions

Oakland Raiders v. Tennessee Titans
QB: Jason Campbell v. Vince Young Point Raiders
Color: Black and Silver v. red white, blue, silver, and a light blue. Point Titans, they're prettier.
Mascot: Raider (pirate) v. Titan (mythological creature greater than the Greek gods) Point Titans.
Prediction: Titans

Cincinnati Bengals v. New England Patriots
QB: Carson Palmer v. Tom Brady. Even with a terrible haircut, Brady wins. Point Patriots
Color: Orange and Black v. Red, Nautical Blue,  New Century Silver, and White Point Patriots
Mascot: Bengals (tigers) v. Patirots (minutemen, revolutionary war fighters) Point Bengals.
Prediction: Patriots

Arizona Cardinals v. St. Louis Rams
 QB: Derek Anderson v. Sam Bradford. Point Rams, Sammy Bradford is adorable!
Color: Red, white, and black v. navy blue and gold. Point Rams
Mascot: Cardinals (red iconically winter bird) v. Ram, Point: Rams
Prediction St. Louis Rams

San Francisco 49ers v. Seattle Seahawks
QB: Alex Smith v. Matt Hasselbeck Alex Smith has pretty eyes, Point: 49ers
Color Red and Gold v. Pacific Blue, Navy Blue, Neon Green and White Point Seahawks
Mascot: 49er (I just think of an old timey prospector) v. Seahawk (not a real bird) I'll go with the 49er just based on the fact that a lot of them carried guns. Point 49ers.
Prediction San Fran 49ers

Green Bay Packers v. Philadelphia Eagles
QB: Aaron Rodgers v. Kevin Kolb. Aaron Rodgers' favorite movie is "The Princess Bride" Point: Packers
Colors: Green and gold v. foresty green and white; Point Eagles
Mascot: Packer (meat packer) v. Eagle (Majestic bird) Point: Eagles
Prediction: Philadelphia Eagles

Dallas Cowboys v. Washington Redskins
QB: Tony Romo v. Donovan McNabb Point: Cowboys
Colors: Blue and Silver v. Maroon and Gold Point Redskins
Mascot: Cowboy v. Redskin (Indian) a historic battle Point: Cowbowys
Prediction: Cowboys

Baltimore Ravens v. New York Jets
QB: Joe Flacco (and his unibrow) v. Mark Sanchez Point: Jets
Colors: Purple, Black, and Gold v. Green and White Point: Ravens
Mascot: Raven (bird) v. Jet (airplane) Point Jets
Prediction: Jets

San Diego Chargers v. Kansas City Chiefs
QB: Philip Rivers v. Matt Cassel Philip Rivers is surly; point: Cheifs
Colors: Blue and yellow v. red, white, black Point Chargers- they have pretty blue uniforms
Mascot: Chargers (lighning bolts) v. Chief (indians/native americans) Go up against lightning, you'll lose every time. Point Chargers
Prediction: Chargers

Things that Make You Go "Awwwww!"

This is such a cute story: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/jerrybrewer/2012136666_brewer17.html
Summary, if you don't want to read the whole thing: Seattle Mariners pitcher Jason Phillips is marrying a girl that he saw in the stands while he was in the bullpen. They met when he threw her a ball with his phone number on. She texted him. They met for drinks. They fell in love. They're getting married.
I have two immediate reactions to this story.
1. This totally needs to be made into a movie. Romantic comedy starring Katharine Heigel and Bradley Cooper. Perhaps it will go the more awesome and cheesetastic route by being made into a movie for Hallmark channel, ABC Family, or Lifetime, in which case it will be Melissa Joan Hart and the guy who plays Roxy's husband on Army Wives. But someone needs to make a movie based on this story.
2. It further fed my delusional dream that if I have good enough seats at a game, Joe Mauer will ask me out.